Dating Mister Google


For those of you that have been familiar with our business over the past 3 years I’m sure you would agree that it’s been very slow going coming out of the gate. Should I even use that term? Nothing takes that long to come out of a gate, but I am at a loss for any other comparison right now.


I have always created, I was born that way.
Sewing, crocheting, decorating, painting, designing. Did I go to college and get a degree? No I didn’t. Did I attend seminars? No I did not. Did I buy a book and read about it and follow the directions? Nope , nada, not at all. I never really had a desire to go back to school as an adult, in fact I raced my self right through high school counting the days till I could be done.  I also worked three jobs and still maintained great grades.
Truth is, I had an exceptional photographic memory growing up. It was kind of a super power. So I never really learned how to study.

Now I have to educate myself with this harsh world called social media and my super power is gone.
It hasn’t faded, it has packed its suitcase and flown away.
I’ve also developed the attention span of a gnat, which makes it twice as hard to even attempt to study anything I truly do not understand. Woes me right?


Upon visiting this New World on the Web for the past couple of months I have come to realize that it is not America it’s a  whole new Continent with it’s own dialect, psychology and reasoning. It also has a president, his name is Mister Google. I’m sure you’ve heard of him. He’s still single by the way. I believe I know why now.
Anyway I have a lot to learn about Mister Google, and I better figure out a way to meet him or quite frankly our business will sink.


I’m a straight forward old fashioned kind of gal.
I believe that when you make a good product, photograph it and post it, then it’s done. Someone somewhere will see it, want it and the sale will happen.
I’m finding that’s not the case here.
I now know I just may have to have some kind of a warped cyber space affair with Mister Google before my inventory starts flying out the door.
And here’s the problem … it’s not that easy to get him to even notice me let alone date me.

We have this little barrier called a lingual deficiency. I can’t even communicate with him unless I have an interpreter . This makes it clearly impossible to get intimate, you know what I mean? Let me just say this… I have a whole new respect for mail order brides.


Words like, internal and external links, SEO, meta description, slugs, yoast ,search optimization, URL, user base, USG and SERPS, makes me want to dump that dude hard and fast and we haven’t even started a real relationship yet!
But I can’t. I have to use him to get my foot in cyberspace. Yes I know that makes me sound a bit pretentious but  hey I’m just being honest .


So here’s the plan ….Rossetta Stone here I come. Yes, it will take a while to learn an opening line.  Maybe even a sentence or two. But once I do, I really believe I will get a real first date. One where we can actually communicate and get to know each other. Who knows maybe once I learn his language and get to know him better, I might just  fall in love with him and want to stay in a relationship long term.

With great concentration and a lot of effort I could become Mrs. Google? Ya, that was a little far fetched but hey we all need high hopes right?
So if anyone else out there is frustrated and a bit lost with their website just know your not alone. But also know this …. I will fight you all to get the first date.

2018-05-02T15:14:10+00:00 Tags: , , , , , |

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